It wasn’t me!! I swear!

[You are talking on your phone while sauntering through the Nairobi streets when an old woman approaches you. She waits for you to finish your call]

OLD WOMAN: Habari yako kijana yangu?

YOU: Salama sana

OLD WOMAN: Nilikuwa naomba unisaidie kidogo

YOU: Nikusaidie vipi?

OLD WOMAN: Kuna kijana yangu nilikuwa nataka kuwasiliana naye lakini simu yangu imeisha moto, unaweza kunijaribia na hio simu yako tafadhali

YOU: Namba yake ni?

OLD WOMAN: Namba yake ni 0723 *** ***

[You launch your iphone5 and dial the number, it goes through but no one is receiving at the other end]

YOU: Inaingia lakini hakuna mtu anashika

[Not wanting to disappoint her, you re-dial the number severally but still no answer]

YOU: Ni kama hayuko karibu

OLD WOMAN: Ni sawa nitarajibu tena kwingine. Ahsante sana kijana yangu

YOU: Hakuna shida 🙂

[You part ways in opposite directions and you decide to board a ‘matatu’ to your destination]

INSIDE MATATU

                                [After covering some mileage, a passenger shrieks that her phone is stolen]

PASSENGER 1: uuuuuwiiiiiii! simu yangu imeibiwa

PASSENGER 2: Uko na hakika imepotea? hebu angalia vizuri

[Other passengers begin to murmur while looking at the distressed passenger who is claiming to have lost her phone]

PASSENGER 1: Nimeangalia na haiko na nilikuwa nayo ndani ya gari

YOU: Hebu jaribu kupiga namba yako uone kama itaingia

PASSENGER 1: Mtu anisaidie simu yake tafadhali nijaribu kupiga namba yangu

[A passenger offers her his phone and she dials………………….]

[A vigorous vibration escapes your pocket followed by a familiar ringtone. The passengers turn to the sound source and behold it’s YOU!!! ]

PASSENGER 1: Mwizi! Mwizi! ndiye huyo

[Before you get a chance to explain, a heavy slap lands on your face accompanied by several others. The passengers are mercilessly mobbing you]

A similar scenario depicted above may one day befall you! Truth is ‘you’ were set up right at the moment you met the old woman. She was in-fact a con-woman!

She singled you out of the crowd by the mere fact that you were on your phone. She feigned assistance from you so as to see the type of phone you were using and also obtain your number. Having obtained them, she alerts her accomplice(s) who take time to secretly follow you.

The more expensive the phone is, the higher the incentive for them to follow you.

For international readers, you can view the translation here.

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